Oh, Lord…here it comes!

The kids have taken to googling themselves…The names have been changed to protect the innocent and provide an outlet for mommy…

Saturday, I asked one of the boys to go to the local market.  He had a list of 4 items that I had forgotten at the supermarket the day before.  I gave him the money and the list and he was off.  He was going on about the construction in the market and seeing a few of his friends in the candy section ( Swedish children normally buy candy on Saturday’s and it is sold from self serving bins and you scoop out what you want and pay by the hectogram…about a buck a hecto). 

I told him he could keep the change and as he was putting it away into his wallet, out falls a  something with a symbol on it and I asked what it was as I wanted it for my collage. 

 He said ” Philip gave it to me”  Philip is the nextdoor neighbor’s son, (age 15) an only child and normal defender of  Bambi /K2 since he is a bit of a runt. 

 I asked K2 if he thought he needed it and he replied ” No, he(Phil) told me it would look good to have it in my wallet”. 

  I said ” K2, it would look good to have a prayer to the Blessed Virgin Mary as well, but I notice that you don’t have one of those in there…Do you know what the condom is for?” “Yes, ma’m”, he says.  I ask if he needs it and he replies, no.  I then reiterate the family “rules” which says that if one of us is getting ready to go over the precipice, he or she must contact Mom or Dad first…we may not like the jump, but we can at lease soften the blow.  He acknowledges that he is embarrassed for me to have seen it.  “But, I say…The purpose of him giving it to you was to boost you up when people saw it.  Why didn’t it work for you”? 

” Cause I knew it was wrong and sometimes I feel so grown up when he talks to me, I want him to think that I listen to his advice.”

“Well, baby boy, let me give you my 2cents…If it were ok to carry condoms, I would have given you one in your shower kit.  You are struggling with 8th grade, acne and repairing your bicycle…Do you need help with this”?

“Yes, please”

I left it at that then tracked down the Hubbster who was in the garage tinkering on his motorcycle…

“My love, you need to have a conversation with “the ill one”… (as we refer to the kid in question long story…).

“Why, what’s up?”

“He gave K2 a rubber to keep in his wallet so it would look good.”

“(expletive deleted) why is he trying to man up K2?”

“I don’t know, but I would like to think of all of the things that he could be teaching a 13 year old child, safe sex and the appearance of such is WELL outside his jurisdiction…” I think a more important lesson for us is to help K2 understand how not valuing yourself can leave you with bigger scars.

I know teens have these discussions all of the time and that at certain times in their lives they think that an older peer is knowledgble and may have answers, albeit not so good ones… The biggest problems with teens in this country right now is rampant clamydia and mobbning (bullying and intimidation) by cell phone and computer.  Teens are so desperate to fit in that they often align themselves with the wrong croud rather than be alienated. 

I need to hear some good oldfashioned advice for a change…no point too extreme except cryogenics, which we have already looked into…



Filed under bitching and stuff

10 responses to “Oh, Lord…here it comes!

  1. wow, don’t know how i would have reacted. a friend also gave me my first condom, but i was quite older than that. at the time i just thought it was cool to have it. not to show off, just to know that it was there. i was not active yet, and was not planning to be, but still…
    but it is so good that he is open about it with you and hubster. the worst is when teenagers shut parents out for fear of punishment or for fear of dissapointing them.
    So, could you share with us your “birds and bees” story. Might use it with my kids!!! hahaha. one day…..

  2. Honey, You did well. It’s not easy but there is really only so much you can do. A lot of it is just praying and making sure you and yours are brought up with love and that you are the best role model you can be. That’s one thing…life is life and even though I find my comfort in all you guys. In my blog freinds sharing and communicating about ART…there is a REAL world that is ongoing for all of us. I’ll pray for you kay? Everthing will be ok. -Karla

  3. hey girl….i tried to email you but cannot find your email address…i will be putting up the tags soon…

    i’ve added this one to my bloglines so i can keep track of you…lol

    i tell ya i am not sure what is going on with kids these days…i am scared for my daughter to grow up….i am afraid when she is up in age a little (she’s 2 now) she will be having sex at 8 or something…..

  4. they just keep getting younger and younger don’t they!! If that were one of my kids – I would hope I would be as calm. We feel that giving kids condoms is just the same as saying it is ok to have sex. So we might reiterate why one should not have sex until marrige and perhaps point to biblical reasons why – which is not a difficult thing as we are having nightly bible readings. We try to make the kids comfortable in coming to us, but also remain steadfast with our values.

    Good luck Regina – hopefully you will be full of experience with your boys by the time mine get to that age so you can share 🙂

  5. I raised one son to adulthood (now 26 years old) all by myself but I don’t know how I managed to end up with such a great kid. All I can say is good luck and it sounds like you’re on the right track.

  6. You sure responded well to that! I think I would have just about freaked out! You’re a Good Mom! It is scary, though, when friends are the ones who are introducing our kids to things when we want them to come to US. Kids have a hard time these days–there is so much junk out there for them to get involved in. We just gotta keep being tough with them–but loving them and expecting them to do the right things! Loved your story!

  7. I agree with Cheryl, we want them to come to us… but they hate that as much as we hated going to our parents at that age.. We just keep trying to tell our kids to come to us, and more specifically as a woman I tell the girls they can come to me freely without worry that I might tell something embarrassing to dad. I try to remember the mistakes my parents made with me and try not to do it, but also remember all the right things and follow in their footsteps.

  8. Thanks for the support and comments, everyone…(sorry about all of the typo’s..i am so bad at proof reading!) If I had a choice to make again, I sure wouldn’t choose to parent in this day and age…

  9. Admittedly, I would have freaked out — especially in public. Though I see myself acting like Bree from “Desperate Housewives” I keep reminding myself, “What would Dolores do?”

  10. Wow – you reacted so well. I think I would have been so tongue-tied. Study up as you go, I figure I’ll be turning to you for advice when Katie gets to be a teenager.

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