The kids have taken to googling themselves…The names have been changed to protect the innocent and provide an outlet for mommy…
Saturday, I asked one of the boys to go to the local market. He had a list of 4 items that I had forgotten at the supermarket the day before. I gave him the money and the list and he was off. He was going on about the construction in the market and seeing a few of his friends in the candy section ( Swedish children normally buy candy on Saturday’s and it is sold from self serving bins and you scoop out what you want and pay by the hectogram…about a buck a hecto).
I told him he could keep the change and as he was putting it away into his wallet, out falls a something with a symbol on it and I asked what it was as I wanted it for my collage.
He said ” Philip gave it to me” Philip is the nextdoor neighbor’s son, (age 15) an only child and normal defender of Bambi /K2 since he is a bit of a runt.
I asked K2 if he thought he needed it and he replied ” No, he(Phil) told me it would look good to have it in my wallet”.
I said ” K2, it would look good to have a prayer to the Blessed Virgin Mary as well, but I notice that you don’t have one of those in there…Do you know what the condom is for?” “Yes, ma’m”, he says. I ask if he needs it and he replies, no. I then reiterate the family “rules” which says that if one of us is getting ready to go over the precipice, he or she must contact Mom or Dad first…we may not like the jump, but we can at lease soften the blow. He acknowledges that he is embarrassed for me to have seen it. “But, I say…The purpose of him giving it to you was to boost you up when people saw it. Why didn’t it work for you”?
” Cause I knew it was wrong and sometimes I feel so grown up when he talks to me, I want him to think that I listen to his advice.”
“Well, baby boy, let me give you my 2cents…If it were ok to carry condoms, I would have given you one in your shower kit. You are struggling with 8th grade, acne and repairing your bicycle…Do you need help with this”?
I left it at that then tracked down the Hubbster who was in the garage tinkering on his motorcycle…
“My love, you need to have a conversation with “the ill one”… (as we refer to the kid in question long story…).
“Why, what’s up?”
“He gave K2 a rubber to keep in his wallet so it would look good.”
“(expletive deleted) why is he trying to man up K2?”
“I don’t know, but I would like to think of all of the things that he could be teaching a 13 year old child, safe sex and the appearance of such is WELL outside his jurisdiction…” I think a more important lesson for us is to help K2 understand how not valuing yourself can leave you with bigger scars.
I know teens have these discussions all of the time and that at certain times in their lives they think that an older peer is knowledgble and may have answers, albeit not so good ones… The biggest problems with teens in this country right now is rampant clamydia and mobbning (bullying and intimidation) by cell phone and computer. Teens are so desperate to fit in that they often align themselves with the wrong croud rather than be alienated.
I need to hear some good oldfashioned advice for a change…no point too extreme except cryogenics, which we have already looked into…