If they jumped off a bridge would you want to jump too? Rated R.

fukitol.jpgOne of the good things about vacation is that it always ends and you can go home.  The bad thing is that you never seem to be able to please everyone in the group and they feel compelled to let you know that they are were dissatisfied, as if I am some kind of tour coordinator or something…

The mosquito’s were off the chain.  It was insane as to how many of these damn things can bite you and you not know it.   One son had over 40 on one arm and complained that we had “cheap” insect repellant.  (sidebar: mommy thinks to herself, “you think is is so damn cheap, then you spend the next 98.00  kroner ($12.00) for a bottle of Off that we coulda got in the US for almost half that price.  But I digress, I am expected to take the higher road as the adult. These are the evil thoughts I keep to myself ” 🙂 .  I asked him if he thought his diet could contribute to the mosquitoes attraction, after all candy, Coke and chips dosen’t seem to be the food of champions either, but that does not stop him from eating them. 

   A “cousin” who is a year older than the twins is allowed to use snus ( tobacco packets).  Although it is illegal for minors to purchase them, his father buys it for him.  Did I mention that “cousin” also had semi nude magazine covers on his bedroom wall, a computer that is hooked to a flat screen tv and the latest video games and systems…  When given this bit of info, I asked the kids ” Why don’t you just skip the snus and go straight for crack?…If you want to be addicted, don’t putz around , go straight for the big one!”  They looked at me like I was stupid.   “Start off with Kentucky Burbon and cigarettes and use crack inbetween, that is my perspective.  Sell your play$tation and clothes and forget about having a bed to sleep in or a bike to ride because you will need to selll all of your possessions to support your habit.  You put $25.00 a month on your telephone and still have to use the house phone after 6 days!  How could you support a snus habit?   You need sneakers every 2-3 months…if you are buying snus, you need to bind your feet and forget about shoes for a while…habits cost money.”   Needless to say, the conversation ended with one of the twins saying…Cousin has everything… The evil self then spoke through me again , but this time out loud and said ” Yeah, cousin  is so lucky!   He coerces  his( older) parents into buying him everything he wants, speaks disrespectfully to them and is allowed to use tobacco…He is ‘effin lucky because he is not my child and still has his natural teeth”.   Suddenly “cousin” was looking like the dead weight moocher is is.  The conversation then turned to what we were having for dinner and who’s turn it was to walk the puppy ( who by the way is named Geisha, a Papillion that chews on achillies tendons, socks and small babies.)

Sometimes, the truth needs to be told.  I didn’t mean for it to come out this way, but I sure am maxing out on my stupidity levels a lot earlier than I used to…Pill stolen from Greta, Thanks for the medicine loan!



Filed under bitching and stuff, Damn kids

4 responses to “If they jumped off a bridge would you want to jump too? Rated R.

  1. BWHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH girl i just love that fuckitol pill…..i have a stash need one eh?

    i have something for you…let me see if it will copy right and i will send it…also there is a book out called photoshop elements 4.0…i will take a pic and send you so you know which one….EXCELLENT book for PSE.

  2. GC

    I love the puppy’s name.
    ooh and you have pics!

  3. GC: Geisha is available for extended home visits!
    Greta: I need a refill!!!

  4. You’re cracking me up. I can’t believe what some people let their kids get away with OR what they help their kids DO! Thanks for the laugh. Also, thanks for visiting my blog and for linking to me! I’ll be back to read your blog again. So entertaining! lol

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