Spam is the Devil’s work…

Not for the hypertensive!

Not for the hypertensive!

Not the kind you fry and eat on bread, but the kind that attempts to relieve you of your bread!  A certain Very Mary blogger was the recipient of some lovely spam that had me laughing out loud…till today, when I find I am also challenged emotionally and to deal with my own precarious situation… EXIBIT A

From Mrs Susan Morgan
N�[38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody
Abidjan,Cote d’Ivoire
ATTN
DEAREST ONE OF GOD

I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Mr.Abram Morgan,(present tense) who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004.(Past tense) We were married for eleven years without a child.(osexual tension) He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.( why did it take so long to contact me…? )

Before his death we were both born again Christian.( what were you before that?) Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.( Well if he is dead, how will you parent or concieve a child?…I’m only a masters candidate…you gotta help me with this one…?) When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in suspense account. ( a suspense account?)  I worked for Chase Manhattan and never heard of a suspense account…maybe there is a surprise in store when you open it? further more…the suspense is encored when you OPEN an account with that much cash!)

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. ( EXcuse moi…but, if you are going to hit someone up for money, at LEAST be grammatically correctI diplore incorrect usage of the Queen’s language…lol! ) The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness ( note: I can sympathize with this, as my Australian crawl leaves a LOT to be desired!) . Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintainedEditors note: any funds left to the church of Buy, bought and altered Art will be distributed amongst the membership to promote understanding through their God given talents…I can’t promise anything else” ed..

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my husband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going.( I hate to expedite her departure, but the 6:30 pm coach to Hell is always PACKED!  Old girl better get a move on or she’ll be standing the entire ride!) I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband’s relatives is around me always I don’t want them to know about this development.( That is a good thing, because my international service is too expensive!  Let’s just keep this between you and me…and our little emails…) With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. (What about being truthful?…or does the good book not cover that?  And if a girl is indeed a member of a good christian church, WHY does she not contact them directly instead of fishing out little old me on the internet…

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information’s,(information’s…why do I get the feeling that something is not entirely kosher with this ladies movives…spelling be damned!) any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply(sure you right, Nana!).

Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs susan morgan..

อยากได้เบอร์เมลสุดโปรด!

I will leave all of you that made it this far with the following quote: ” The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it” Ayn Rand

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11 Comments

Filed under bloggisphere, life, Who does she think she is?

11 responses to “Spam is the Devil’s work…

  1. Oh my goodness, for real?

    Well you are right about my deep thinking on the think tank. I won’t be doing any of that kind of thinking for a good while. (maybe never) Sure was a painful way to get my point across.

  2. I’ve been getting quite a bit of this kind of “spam” myself, lately. Urrrrgh

  3. i hate those damn spammers.
    people who fall for those are dumb…and keep those spammers alive!
    this was funny though 🙂

  4. I swear I get a version of that each and every day in my mailbox.. I love the commentary – that was funny 🙂

  5. liz

    email me at kemataraza@hotmail.com and i’ll tell you how to ’embed’ the blinkie…

    have you figured out what to do with the markers yet? i can’t wait to see!

  6. Wow….I never read the spam. Just delete it before I read that breaking this will cause devestating things to happen to me, my family and the whole world. I like the way you broke it down. And thanks for your comment on my blog.

  7. I can’t believe you read them all the way thru…I just delete them before I even get 2 lines into it…funny! I put up a post on my blog…just for YOU!! lol

  8. LOL, love your replies Gina, too funny!

    I get spam like this all the time, along with your viagra and ‘buy a degree’ones. Such a pain!

  9. Oh wow…you get those emails as well…I delete them, you’re better than me!!!

  10. Miz

    Can I just say… Funny shit!

    Oh and of course you can pimp me out. Is that what you meant? I want a 50/50 cut on whatever you make, heh heh.

    Muah

    And oh yah, the other night (or was it just last night?) I totally stalked your blog (mighta been this one, mighta been the other one. Can’t remember) and saw your adorable kids!!! Those were your kids right? You didn’t like… snatch them for photo journaling purposes? jk

  11. I fucking hate SPAM!

    The other I like – I’m a Flip! It’s in our blood!

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